Moving Abroad: The Emotions

Moving to a new place is tough. Whether its to a new house or apartment, a new city, a new country or even a new job, there is a period where you seem a bit lost. You have a to find a new local cafe or pub, make new friends, locate the nearest grocery store. Basically, change is hard and requires a lot of work. Moving to England was very hard and it didn't help that I had a little medical issue that made me mostly miserable and unwilling to leave the flat. The combination of being miles away from my family and friends and not working has really taken a toll on my mood; I was a bit depressed and found it hard to leave the flat much less the bed most days.

I didn't talk about it with anyone. I didn't want my husband to worry and think I regretted coming here, that I wanted to go back. I also didn't feel as if I had anyone here to talk to about it, all of my relationships here are new and I didn't want to muck up any fun time with depression talk. I also didn't want to bring down the mood of the FaceTime chats with friends and family. So I just sucked it up and tried to figure it out. It wasn't until my aunt, visiting from Iran, asked me straight up if I had any depression after moving here. I was shocked. I wanted to say no, but then I realized if she is asking me this then I am not the only one who has experienced this. So I wanted to talk about it here, in case someone else is going through this. You are not alone.

When I was planning to move I had this big plan of what I was going to do when I got here. I was going to make the most of my time off from work, I was going to explore the city, learn the tube system, join Meetup groups, I was even convinced I would start running, HA! Moving to London was super exciting and meant I had the world at my fingertips and because I wasn't going straight into the workforce I was going to have great London adventures and I was going to share them right here on my blog.

Obviously, that is not what happened and that is okay. It is okay that I didn't leave the flat for the first 3 weeks. It is okay that I was sad, that I spent days in bed, that I didn't work on my blog, that I never started running. It is okay.

After almost five months I am starting to feel better. I feel more confident leaving the flat and I do so, on my own, about three times a week. It started with my mother-in-law taking me shopping to find things for the flat, to make it feel more cozy, more like I lived there and wasn't just visiting. Then I starting going on my own. Which lead to me actually attending the Meetup events I RSVP'd for and now I have three I attend every week. I am making friends and connections in the Meetups. I joined a workout class with my friend (a fellow Texan). I have joined Girl Gone International (GGI) and have met some wonderful ladies that I have study buddy dates with.

I am starting to feel okay here. I miss everyone back home, and I will visit soon, but I feel good here. I am starting to feel less sad.

Girl Gone International is an organization of women who help women. There are facebook groups and Meetups around the world. Basically, it's a place where you ask questions, get advice, find a flatmate, get suggestions for the best hairdressers for curly hair, put up a request for a dinner date to try out that cool new restaurant. It is like instant friends who have traveled a similar journey to yours. Here is their mission statement "Since 2010 we have existed to offer friendship, connection and a sense of belonging to women who live abroad as well as transient women and female travellers wherever in the world they find themselves." If you move anywhere is the world, I suggest finding GGI or starting one there.

Meetup is an app and website that allows you to find groups of people who are interested in the some things as you. You can find Meetups for anything from a boardgames to book clubs, fitness to business and if you can't find what you're looking for, start your own Meetup group.

Starting over in a new country is hard, just remember you aren't the only one. Give GGI and Meetup a try, I bet you will find wonderful people and great new things to do.

Have you experienced a big change? Have you moved abroad? What did you do meet people and get out of your bubble? Tell me in the comments below!

xx

Mariam